How will I help you as a couple?

Do you ever have one of those moments when you are arguing with your partner and your heart sinks? When no matter how hard you try to work things out, your words seem to widen the rift between you and make you feel further away than ever. It’s a horrible and disorienting feeling.

I want to reassure you about two things: first, know that you are not the only couple this is happening to, you are not alone, second, there is a way to break this deadlock. I can help you change the way you share feelings and to trust each other again.

Using the lens of a highly intuitive approach called Schema Therapy for Couples, I will help you improve how you relate with your partner by seeing with clarity how you have become stuck. You will learn to see that these ways of relating connect to life-long patterns called life-traps which surface in your relationship. Whatever your unique experiences were growing up, I will guide you to make new choices so that your emotional needs as an adult can be met. 

Just like every single child who comes into the world, you are shaped by your need for love and connection, but depending on your circumstances, if somebody didn’t meet your needs this may have been painful. If we experienced moments where we felt left out or neglected by family or friends, these may have felt insignificant, but when these moments happen over and again, this can feel much more impactful and cause longer lasting problems because they invalidate their needs and create wounds that can last a lifetime and affect all our relationships, in particular our relationship with our partner. 

This unfinished business from our past most commonly surfaces with our partners. A life-trap is important to understand because it can derail us to think and behave in problematic ways with the person closest to us. Knowing your partner’s life-traps matter because it provides you with a compass to meet their needs.